Every once in a while, children slip into a state of temporary insanity.
I’m not talking about your every day crazy; your running around screaming, your singing silly songs, or your tantrums. I am talking about full-out, making you wonder where this child came from and should you get some medication insanity.
Last night, I was watching the hockey game (ha! Rangers suck!), and Ms. Kaz was getting our daughter to bed. From upstairs, I can hear the following…
Ms. Kaz: Well, now you spilled your cup of water. Now I have to get you a new one.
Daughter: I don’t want a new one! I want the old one!
Nothing too unusual yet. She’s just testing her power. My daughter, that is. A little while later…
Daughter: I want the old one!
Ms. Kaz: Fine, here’s the old cup.
Daughter: Not that! I don’t want that! I want the old water!
Ms. Kaz: The old water was on the floor. I can’t get it for you. It was dirty.
Daughter: I want the dirty water! I want to drink off the floor!!
So I head up because it is intermission because I want to help out.
Talking with my daughter, I learn that she wants to drink the dirty water off the floor. Hmm.. maybe I am just not understanding her. Maybe she wants to sit on the floor and drink a cup of water? After trying to get clarification from her, I learn she indeed wants to lick the old dirty water off the floor. Nothing can sway her. I explain the cat sits on the floor and we walk on the floor and, ick, our floor is so dirty. I offer a new cup of water.
She’ll take me up on that offer. As long as I let her drink it off the floor. From the clean spots. “There aren’t any clean spots on our floor, Sweetie.” Ms. Kaz is not enjoying this part of the conversation.
“You don’t see mommy and daddy drink off the floor, do you?” Well, apparently she does. And apparently, we’ve let her do it in the past, as well.
I’ve only got one more trick in my bag. A call to Grandma.
Fortunately, my mother is able to play along well enough to, while not convincing my daughter completely, distract my daughter from wanting to lick the dirty floor.
Afterward, I checked. No full moon.
About the only normal thing about the whole night was that the Sabres crushed the Rangers.
So, anyone out there let their kid lick water off the floors?
I Hate Snaps 
Ahh, it won’t hurt her….much. I would have just given her a straw and told her to go to town.