I Must Be Rich!

April 14, 2010

At bedtime, we sing The Boy a song or two, then place him in his crib and walk out, and he goes to sleep.

At bedtime, my wife sings my daughter two song, I tell her a Pokemon story (different combinations of the same plot lines over and over), do a nighttime dance, sing her songs, and we talk about what to dream about. The processes couldn’t be any different (especially in terms of length of time!). And this doesn’t even count the number of times she calls us back up.

Anyhow, she always complains about having trouble falling asleep. The reason we talk about what to dream about is because I taught her a trick I sometimes use, which is to think about what to dream about. I likely never dream the actual dream, but it helps me fall asleep.

Unfortunately, I am the one who needs to decide what she should think about.

So, one night, we have a dream which involves leprechauns and their pot of gold. This seemed to get my daughter’s interest, and lead to the following conversation:

Daughter: And leprechaun gold is like a THOUSAND dollars!
Me: Wow! Is that a lot?
Daughter: Yeah! We could buy lots of toys!
Me: Cool!
Daughter: No, we could buy a whole store!
Me: Wow!
Daughter: And I could still have enough left over to GET A JOB!
Me: Uh…
Daughter: I’m going to be a veterinarian!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my job. You poor schmucks with no money probably have no idea what I am talking about…

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Little Treasures

February 9, 2010

Last night, when getting ready for bed, my daughter took a paperclip out of her pocket.

“Where’d you get that?” I asked her. “From school,” she replied. I asked her if the teacher said it was okay, and she said she just took it.

Every few days, she comes home with what must be Little Treasures to her. Sometimes, it makes sense; a penny one day, a colorful bead another. Sometimes, it is a stick, or a piece of paper someone else wrote on. Or a paperclip.

We have a lot of paperclips in our house.

Little Treasure or not, I don’t want her to get into the habit of taking stuff from her class. “You really shouldn’t just take things from school, sweetie,” I tell her.

Her response?

“I only do it on days I have pockets…”


Conversations With…: The Recession’s Tough on Everyone

December 19, 2009

I guess everyone has suffered a bit in this last recession…

Me: Do all birds hibernate (sic)? Or do some stick around in the winter?
Daughter: The snow owl does!
Me: Really? We’ll have to keep an eye out for one…
Daughter: They live in Antarctica!
Me: Really?
Daughter: Yeah! The have camouflage… to protect them from creditors.
Me: Preditors?
Daughter: No, creditors!
Me: Creditors?
Daughter: Creditors.

At least they didn’t get a loan from Big Tony…


Conversations With…: Holiday Spirit

December 16, 2009

Driving in the car last night, out of the blue…

Daughter: Hanukkah isn’t fair…

(I could see what was coming)

Me: How so?
Daughter: They get presents for 8 days and 8 nights!
Me: Well, you’ve already missed 4 days of Hanukkah.. you should wait until next year to convert.

Happy Holidays, all…


Conversations With…: At least she didn’t say “pooch”

December 1, 2009

My daughter’s thing is cats. The boy’s thing is trucks, trains and firetrucks. Which would explain why the toy workbench he got for his birthday only gets occasionally touched.

Today, my daughter decided to actually combine her love of cats with the workbench and decided to play a game where she is a cat, and I am a construction worker. She asked me to name the cat, so I went with a construction theme, and chose the name Rivets, which I thought was a cute cat name.

She had no idea what a rivet was, and even after I explained how it was relevant, she insisted I name cat after a tool. She picked up the toy wrench and said, name the cat after this. “Wrench?” I asked. “Yeah, wrench,” she replied.

After a few minutes of playing, I went into the kitchen to talk to Ms. Kaz. My daughter came in and started talking some more about the game, and I told her to slow down and tell me again…

Daughter: .. so Wrench the cat, and Screw the dog were going…
Me: uh, huh.. wait, what? Wrench the cat and who..?
Daughter: Screw the dog.
Me: …
Daughter: …
Me: That’s a great name for the dog. Tell mommy!

I am looking forward to many more games of Wrench the cat and Screw the dog. I just hope she doesn’t try playing this game at school!


Buy This!

November 9, 2009

Reading Greg @ Daddy Types’ recent experience with TV commercials here, I was reminded of my own daughter’s thoughts on commercials…

Usually, we hear, “Daddy, can you skip the commercials?” — which works great on the DVR. When we tell her we can’t because it is “live TV”, I think she gets confused. One day, she’ll tell her grandkids about how she occasionally had to sit through the commercials.

On the occasion where she is forced to watch commercials (either because of “live TV”, or us just not bothering to fast-forward through), she would occasionally tell us that a commercial was “important”. Eventually, I discovered this meant “non-toy” or “boring”.

Either that, or Oxy Clean really is that important…


Conversations With…: The New Threats

August 31, 2009

Daughter: If you don’t let me, I’m gonna call a woodpecker!
Kaz: …
Ms. Kaz: …
Daughter: …
Ms. Kaz: And what will the woodpecker do?
Daughter: He’ll PECK the house!