April 14, 2010
At bedtime, we sing The Boy a song or two, then place him in his crib and walk out, and he goes to sleep.
At bedtime, my wife sings my daughter two song, I tell her a Pokemon story (different combinations of the same plot lines over and over), do a nighttime dance, sing her songs, and we talk about what to dream about. The processes couldn’t be any different (especially in terms of length of time!). And this doesn’t even count the number of times she calls us back up.
Anyhow, she always complains about having trouble falling asleep. The reason we talk about what to dream about is because I taught her a trick I sometimes use, which is to think about what to dream about. I likely never dream the actual dream, but it helps me fall asleep.
Unfortunately, I am the one who needs to decide what she should think about.
So, one night, we have a dream which involves leprechauns and their pot of gold. This seemed to get my daughter’s interest, and lead to the following conversation:
Daughter: And leprechaun gold is like a THOUSAND dollars!
Me: Wow! Is that a lot?
Daughter: Yeah! We could buy lots of toys!
Daughter: No, we could buy a whole store!
Daughter: And I could still have enough left over to GET A JOB!
Daughter: I’m going to be a veterinarian!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my job. You poor schmucks with no money probably have no idea what I am talking about…
February 9, 2010
Last night, when getting ready for bed, my daughter took a paperclip out of her pocket.
“Where’d you get that?” I asked her. “From school,” she replied. I asked her if the teacher said it was okay, and she said she just took it.
Every few days, she comes home with what must be Little Treasures to her. Sometimes, it makes sense; a penny one day, a colorful bead another. Sometimes, it is a stick, or a piece of paper someone else wrote on. Or a paperclip.
We have a lot of paperclips in our house.
Little Treasure or not, I don’t want her to get into the habit of taking stuff from her class. “You really shouldn’t just take things from school, sweetie,” I tell her.
“I only do it on days I have pockets…”
December 19, 2009
I guess everyone has suffered a bit in this last recession…
Me: Do all birds hibernate (sic)? Or do some stick around in the winter?
Daughter: The snow owl does!
Me: Really? We’ll have to keep an eye out for one…
Daughter: They live in Antarctica!
Daughter: Yeah! The have camouflage… to protect them from creditors.
Daughter: No, creditors!
At least they didn’t get a loan from Big Tony…
December 16, 2009
Driving in the car last night, out of the blue…
Daughter: Hanukkah isn’t fair…
(I could see what was coming)
Me: How so?
Daughter: They get presents for 8 days and 8 nights!
Me: Well, you’ve already missed 4 days of Hanukkah.. you should wait until next year to convert.
Happy Holidays, all…
December 1, 2009
My daughter’s thing is cats. The boy’s thing is trucks, trains and firetrucks. Which would explain why the toy workbench he got for his birthday only gets occasionally touched.
Today, my daughter decided to actually combine her love of cats with the workbench and decided to play a game where she is a cat, and I am a construction worker. She asked me to name the cat, so I went with a construction theme, and chose the name Rivets, which I thought was a cute cat name.
She had no idea what a rivet was, and even after I explained how it was relevant, she insisted I name cat after a tool. She picked up the toy wrench and said, name the cat after this. “Wrench?” I asked. “Yeah, wrench,” she replied.
After a few minutes of playing, I went into the kitchen to talk to Ms. Kaz. My daughter came in and started talking some more about the game, and I told her to slow down and tell me again…
Daughter: .. so Wrench the cat, and Screw the dog were going…
Me: uh, huh.. wait, what? Wrench the cat and who..?
Daughter: Screw the dog.
Me: That’s a great name for the dog. Tell mommy!
I am looking forward to many more games of Wrench the cat and Screw the dog. I just hope she doesn’t try playing this game at school!
August 31, 2009
Daughter: If you don’t let me, I’m gonna call a woodpecker!
Ms. Kaz: …
Ms. Kaz: And what will the woodpecker do?
Daughter: He’ll PECK the house!
May 31, 2009
My daughter is no longer into princesses. Our princess movies sit unwatched. Her princess costumes are collecting dust. When asked about Disney World, she says, “Are there Pokemon there? No? Naahhh, I don’t want to go there.”
In fact, all she ever talks about is going to Japan to go to the Pokemon Center Store. I have to say that a trip to Japan sounds intriguing to Ms. Kaz and me. But I could just see us going there, visiting the Pokemon Center Store and then spending the rest of the week dealing with, “I don’t want to go there! That sounds booooring!”
Even the boy now recognizes, and gets excited about Pikachu. He likes to squeeze his first together and grimace and shake his head in faux effort in order to get us to go, “GEODUUUUDE!!”
Anyhow, on a recent trip back from Rochester, my daughter was talking about something, and I told her, “Sweetie, I have no idea what you are talking about.” A few seconds of thought, and she responded, “If you don’t know what I am talking about, it is probably Pokemon.”