Wanna be a baby…

When my daughter was much, much younger, I put together a little movie of still photos set to Paul McCartney’s song, Calico Skies. I used iMovie and tried to get a photo of her with each of our immediate family members.

We used to play the movie for her all the time, and she enjoyed watching it, and playing, “Who’s that?” with us.

My daughter hadn’t seen it in a while. But recently, in the car with Ms. Kaz, it came up on random play on my wife’s iPod (I bought her this really cool thing to hook it up to the car stereo system and use the touch-screen and steering wheel controls, but that’s another story).

My daughter became really upset. Not the “I didn’t get what I want” or “I am over-tired” upset. Rather, genuinely, real-tears, real-sad upset. Afterwards, she told Ms. Kaz that she “was upset about daddy.” We figured she associated the song with me, and missed me.

Then came Friday night…Ms. Kaz was out, so it was just me and the kid. We were watching YouTube (greatest thing for parents who want to show their kids all the crap we used to watch when we were younger), and she said she wanted to watch some of the movies I had made. I thought she’d like to watch the Calico Skies video with me.

Well, we are never watching that video again…

My daughter still became genuinely upset. She kept making me play it over and over again. She was crying and saying, “I don’t want it to stop! I don’t want it to stop!”

Finally, after a few playings, she began to tell me, “I want to be a baby! I don’t want to grow up! I do, I do want to be a baby!”

I could not console her. It was beginning to upset me, as well. “Sweetie, I love you the way you are! Don’t you like being a big girl?”

“No! I want to be a baby!” she cried.

I tried telling her all the things babies cannot do, but nothing worked. Finally, I just had to stop the video. Eventually, she calmed down. But it took a long time (as it has been lately, but that’s yet another post!).

Eventually, she no longer wanted to be a baby. I think the talk about what babies cannot do began to work. “Babies can’t eat pizza… or ice cream… or jelly beans… or drink fizzy…” etc, etc, etc.

I don’t know if this is a reaction to the baby coming? I would think that wouldn’t happen until the baby was born, and she was no longer the center of attention (as much as we say we are going to try to continue to give her attention, it is inevitable that there will be times she doesn’t get all she wants). I don’t really know how to handle it.

Last night, it happened again, at bedtime. My daughter wanted me to sing the song, and again we got the, “I don’t want it to end. I want to be a baby.” Ms. Kaz had earlier suggested letting her “Be A Baby” for a while if she feels she needs to. We told her last night that she could be a baby if she wanted to, and asked what we could do for her. She responded, “No! I want to be a real baby!”

I’m just at a loss here.

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6 Responses to Wanna be a baby…

  1. Dan says:

    We have certainly have had to deal with our three year old wanting to be a baby again since the birth of our son. I mixture of humoring, ignoring, and reasoning with her tends to work but it can get a bit trying at times.

    • Jonathon says:

      well its no longer 2007 so im guessing your 3 year old is no longer three, but it is quite natural for an older sibling up to the age of 6 to regress to wanting to be a baby again when a new baby is born in to the family. The older sibling feels that the new baby is taking up all the atention from them, they feel that they are no longer special, that they are no longer loved and that it is the younger sibling that is receving these things from the mother. The older sibling reasons “maybe only babys get attention and love, maybe only babys are special” (the mind of a child lol) so the older sibling says to him / her self “i want to be a baby” the older child may start bed wetting, wetting themselfs during the day, soiling their pants, dribiling, splashing in puddles and other babyish behaviours.

  2. whit says:

    That sounds painful. Poor little thing. We’ve not really had a problem with that. The few times it’s come up I’ve acted like I am going to put a diaper on him or make him eat baby food and he changes his tune.

    I don’t think he was ever as upset as your daughter though. I agree with Dan, that’s the only mix I can think of, just lots of understanding and love.

    Good luck!

  3. […] over at I Hate Snaps recently blogged about his daughters assertions that she wanted to be a baby again. While Amy hasn’t ever […]

  4. Josh says:

    I myself desire, more than anything to return to babyhood, a desire that I have experienced since as far back as I can remember and I’m 19 now. All I can say is you have to be careful how you handle people with this issue. Whenever my father heard about it he would just yell at me telling me to “Grow up” which only increased my desire tenfold.

  5. jonathon-mirza says:

    I agree with josh on this. Im 22, I have high functining autisim, odd, dyscalculia, dyslexia, depreshion, emotional and psycalogical issues. I have also been an Adult Baby for the past 9 years, eaven as i type i have my paci inmy mouth, my blanki and tiger with me for comfort and im also wet so i will need to change after this. While none of the above problems may be directly related to my desire to be a baby i can i dentify some very possible triggers that may have laid the foundations for my infantalisim (thats the technical name for it. Its officialy classed as a fetish though for me it was has and never will be sexual.)
    When i was 4 i was raped by my dad who i will just refer to as him from now on. And he continued to phisicaly, sexualy, verbaly, emotionaly and domesticaly abuse me till i was 13 when i stabbed him in the arm and thretted to stab him in the neck if he dident leave the house. My mum dident have any problem with that cause he was abusive to her as well. He never eaven gave us gifts on our birthdays or xmas. I found that out when i was 6 along with the fact that santa wasent real when i cought my mum putting gifts under the tree. I was bullied all through school and i never really had any friends eaven to this day my friends are ushually paid to be y friends cause they are the support workers or the shrinks.

    The desire to want to be a baby again is not harmfull to anyone else, it is certinaly less harmfull to your daughter then drugs, prostitution and alcahol (i read on the net once in parts of rushia kids as young as 5 are pushed in to prostitution and with that comes the other 2)

    First of you need to explain to her that she cant physicaly revert back to being a baby. (but if you find a way let me know streight away yea my email is my name with the dash in the middle @live.co.uk)

    Next you need to let her know that its ok for her to want to be a baby again. If you dont do this step and this does develop into something (wich it may well do) she will live with the guilt the rest of her life as i live with it now.

    Her Desire to be a baby again stems from a deep rooted sub-conchious pschycological desire for comfort, warmth, love, attention, security, safty, specielness and nurtutre. (im shure there are other things in that list but im no expert just a geeky adult baby who likes helping and hates being a geek)

    The best thing you can do is take the cues from your daughter, as long as she realises she cant physicaly be a baby, then if she whants to be a baby and she can make the distinction between roleplay and reality, and regreshion theripy and reality then it will be safe to proceed.

    The other thing i would suggest if she does whant to make poopy in her diapers during regreshion it is a good idea to get some chlorofill tablits for destinkyfying the poo poo. They ushually start to take propper effect within 2 months. eaven though it says 2 weeks on the box.

    if you have any questions feel free to email me.

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