Unfit father

“I’ve got a problem… I don’t think I’m good enough to be a father.”

This is what I said to my wife this morning. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she answer. “No, I am serious… yesterday was April Fool’s Day, and I didn’t do anything! I’m a horrible father!”

You see, I’ve always tried my best to pull one over on my wife for April Fools. Years ago, before we were married, my wife had called me at work several times to ask some questions. I was a consultant at the time, so she was worried about calling me so much. On the third call, we had the following conversation:

Ms. Kaz: Hey, it’s me. Sorry to keep calling you. I hope you don’t get in trouble…
Me: Well, it doesn’t matter now.
Ms. Kaz: What do you mean?
Me: They told me to go home. They told me I was spending too much time on the phone and to pack up my things and go home.
Ms. Kaz: What? Oh my god! I’m sorr–
Me: APRIL FOOLS!

I still don’t think she’s forgiven me for that one.

When my daughter was born, I decided to cut her some slack. Now, I would just plot to fool her with my daughter. My daughter being young, the pranks would have to be simple. I knew Ms. Kaz would see right through them, but she would play along so my daughter would have fun. I believe last year we “fooled” my wife into “believing” it was snowing.

But this morning, I looked at the calendar and saw it was April 2nd. How could I have missed it?

Oh, I have plenty of excuses. My in-laws were in town on a surprise visit. My daughter was sick. We had a lot to do.

But I know the real reason.

I’m a bad father.

I let my daughter down (although, I highly doubt she even realizes it).

Well… don’t tell Ms. Kaz, but next year, we’re going to have to come up with a real doozy, my daughter and I. Just to make up for this year.

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2 Responses to Unfit father

  1. It was a Sunday. You should celebrate the holiday today.

    [Kaz: That’s what Ms. Kaz said, but, I dunno… it just isn’t the same…]

  2. It’s too late.

    Once you’re papered with the ‘Bad Dad’ label, complete strangers will walk by and point.

    I’m pretty sure you’re required to register with your local police department.

    [Kaz: I did that yesterday.. and to add insult to injury, they made me pay a $50 registration fee…]

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