A-beetz

So, Ms. Kaz had to work late last night. This, of course, meant pizza night for me and my daughter. When I picked her up from daycare, I asked her if she wanted to eat the pizza at a restaurant or at home (knowing full well I’d get the answer I wanted – “restaurant!”). I then asked her where she wanted to go (knowing full well I’d get the answer I wanted – “Sally’s!”).

Well, we missed the first sitting at Sally’s, and I didn’t want to wait an hour for a table, so we wound up at Modern, which isn’t a bad alternative at all.

My daughter did great. She didn’t act up at all, and listened very well. We had great pizza, and we had a lot of fun just talking. It still amazes me that I can have conversations with a 2 1/2 year old. I even taught her how to say Apizza, as we call it here, correctly (A-beetz).

At one point, however, a man in the booth next to us got up to, persumably, use the men’s room. My daughter pointed and said, “That’s a very big man!” The man was a bit overweight and, although I don’t think he heard her, I shushed her and told her not to say that.

“Why?” she asked me. It was then that I realized that she was just being honest and likely proud that she knew something and was able to point it out.

I struggled to find a way to explain that I thought she would understand. I think I mumbled something like, “He’s very tall. You meant he was very tall, right?”

I felt silly, and I don’t think she quite got why she should say it. I realize stuff like this is going to happen more and more, and I am not really sure how to approach it. Anyone successfully dealt with this before?

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2 Responses to A-beetz

  1. L.A. Daddy says:

    So far, we’ve been lucky but I’m sure it’s coming soon.

    One problem we’ve had is that LA Toddler had a daycare director who was African American. And they all knew him by name. There are a lot of Asian, Hispanic and Caucasian kids at this daycare downtown but not as many African Americans. So, now, whenever the kids see any black man they shout out the Director’s name.

    [Kaz: we had a similar incident, but with our babysitter. Only the one time, though. And it was when she was younger. Of course, back then, she used to call all cats the same name as one of our cats, so...]

  2. Bob says:

    I always try to determine if what our 3-year old daughter is saying is being judgemental or otherwise negative. She’s said almost the exact same as your daughter before, and, though my knee-jerk was to immediately shush her and tell her not to do it, I simply agreed with her and then qualified it by saying, “Isn’t it wonderful to see so many different people everywhere.” Basically, I agree with your assessment that just observing someone’s differences is just being observant. It’s not judgemental, nor is it negative. It’s the same when she has seen someone in a wheelchair or walking with a cane. I always follow with acknowledgment, then a positive comment about how people come in all different shapes and sizes. Of course, sometimes it’s still kinda embarrassing for us parents.

    [Kaz: that's actually a really good idea - thanks! If the other person has children, they probably will understand what kids are like at that age. I just don't want people to get the impression that I'm not trying really hard to be a good dad :) I am actually surprised my daughter has not yet asked/commented about people in wheelchairs yet.]

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