I Don’t Want to be a “Dad”

Sometimes I don’t want to be a dad.

Well, okay, I love being my daughter’s father, and I love my daughter. Being a friend to her is easy. Being a friend to her is fun. It is the being a dad part that is sometimes difficult. You know, doing all the dad (and mom!) things like cleaning up after her, getting up in the middle of the night to see what is wrong, and punishment. Punishment, I think, is the hardest part of being a dad.

Tonight, Ms. Kaz was at her book club, so it was daddy-daughter night. For 90% of the night it was fun. We ate dinner. We made some popcorn. We watched some Peter Pan (I know, I know — TV — but it was just 15-20 minutes. Besides, what else is there to do while eating popcorn?!?).

Then it was time to start the bedtime routine…

Lately, the part of our bedtime routine which has been most difficult has been feeding the cats, which our daughter loves to do. We’ve warned her to use the scoop and not her hands. We’ve been working on it. For the first cat, my daughter even proudly said, “I’m not using my hands!”

When it came to the food for the second cat, however, in went the hand, the hand scooped up the food, and dad said, “ah! don’t use your hand!” Well, the hand continued to come up despite a couple more “don’t use your hand” and a “if you use your hand, you don’t get to feed the kitties!”

The final warning was a bit loud stern. In retrospect, I think she was a little startled. She threw the handful of food on the floor. At that point, I was a little fed up, and I said pretty loudly sternly, “that’s it. go…” Okay, dad, you have to think fast. The downstairs Time Out area is filled with stuff. What do we do? Where do we send her? “…go stand in the corner!”

This is the first time I’ve had to have her stand in the corner. I felt like, I don’t know, some old-fashioned dad or something. My daughter started to complain. “I don’t want to stand in the corner, da-da.” Now I had to clean up the food, so I was still not in a great mood. “Stand in the corner and be quiet”

Well, that did it. The tears started flowing. “I don’t want to stand in the corner and be quiet.” This is when I realized how difficult the punishment part of being a dad was. I started to feel bad. As if sensing this, she threw in a couple, “I want momma!” (see above for location of momma)

Things finally settled down, and a normal daddy-daughter night resumed.

Okay, so it isn’t that I don’t want to be a dad, I just find certain responsibilities of being a dad difficult. But I keep reminding myself that doing them is what makes me a good dad.

As I put my daughter down for bed, I said to her, “I had fun having a daddy-daughter night with you, sweetie.” My daughter rolled over a bit, looked at me, and said, “I had fun playing with daddy, and eating popcorn with daddy, and watching Peter Pan with daddy.”

I love being a dad.

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7 Responses to I Don’t Want to be a “Dad”

  1. abba-daddy says:

    I think that sometimes we are carried away in the moment and only afterwards we stop and think that we could have done things differently.

    I love being a dad despite all of that.
    It’s the best place to be.

    [Kaz: True! I think that’s part of being a parent – trial and error. No one gives you the answers ahead of time…]

  2. Terry says:

    That quick thinking in the middle of chaos is what gets me.

    [Kaz: Usually, “Go ask your mother” or “Go to your mother” works for me, but she wasn’t around this time!]

  3. You make it sound like they don’t cover this in the Dad Handbook.

    You know, the Dad Handbook they give you at the hospital. I mean, they give an instruction booklet when you buy a radio. Surely they do the same when you take a child home from a hospital.

    Yessir, all the answers are in the book. ;-)

    [Kaz: Well, it apparently isn’t covered in the Cliff’s Notes!]

  4. Mr Dreadful says:

    Well good for you – I myself despise the day I made the mistake of not protecting myself resulting in Frankenstein’s monster called a child. I loath being a father, in fact I don’t even call myself a father – more of an offspring bearer. I never wanted to nor want to again be an offspring bearer. It shits me to hell and I think it’s the worst thing I ever did. I’m separated now – thank god. Because more than hating children I hate any form of long term relationship so I called it off when the kid was 2. Call me selfish but I love my own me-time and will never accept the fact that it isn’t all mine anymore. But I still have to have custody of the offspring. Only for two reasons – for one, the kid seems to want to be around me for some reason. And two – I do it because my side of the family wants her to remain in contact. No matter how much I hate it – I can’t get away from it. Trust me – if I need to cut off my penis to prevent this from ever happening again I will.

  5. dp says:

    I never asked for kids, my tupid wife felt the erged and it’s all been about her. Stupid women think life revolves around them, but when there looks hit the wall or you just get board, they can’t understand. Life would be so much better if my wife wasn’t such a f*ing prude. At least we could add some excitement. Stupid women, seeing the same person over and over again, with out any outlet for those urges is like having the same meal over again and again, with out a change.

    If women were not so prudish and selfish, then there would be a lot more happy couples.

  6. Stu says:

    I found this page by Googling “i hate being a dad”.

    I’ve felt like this now since becoming a dad. Every evening I just dread going home from work to the stress of family life.. girlfriend never happy, child never happy. Most of my day I spend just running through in my head how I can escape it all.

  7. Kev says:

    I can relate to Stu’s comment above. I’m married with two kids and I feel the same way most times. I love my kids, but sometimes I wished I’d never met my wife and things had turned out differently.

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